One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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alcoholism kills

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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