What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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Ben is gay

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Noah is Smart.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Brett Farve

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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