What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Obamacare!

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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