Turtles

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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28

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Jasper sucks.

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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