3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

George W. Bush

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Chuck Norris died.

A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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