A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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69

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Yo mama so fat she died

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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