my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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