A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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I like to eat.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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