Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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SPAMS!!!

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69

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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