whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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-What's a real anti joke? -This.

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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69

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Google Doodles

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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