What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Two women were sitting in silence.

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What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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