Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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Kim Kardashian.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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