3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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A bar walks into your mother.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Oliver's friends

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops