What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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Myspace

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Kate

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barack osama

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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