Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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marble

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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You're so straight!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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