Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is big and white, not the moon CC

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

thumb_up thumb_down +26

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Freedom of Speech

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +20

He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops