Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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i wish i was a tree !

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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This is not a joke.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a porsche in my garage.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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