The government makes a good decision

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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no

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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come along children

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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