How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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GooglePlus.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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