What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is a dog? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops