I had a dream I watched Inception.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops