*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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I LIKE TURLES.

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Oliver's friends

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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the WNBA

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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