Hi colton

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

A seal walks into a club.

Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

A black horse and a white horse were running through a field. Suddenly, the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. They passed a tree. There was a Russian man sitting under the tree. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost. The Russian decided that they really didn’t make great racehorses, so he set them free. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was a Mexican man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Again, they lost, so the Mexican set them free in the field. The following day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Italian man. He said, “Wow, these would make such great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Once again, the horses did not win, so the Italian let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were again running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Asian man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost, so the Asian man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an African man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost again, so the African man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an American man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost, so the American sadly let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an platypus. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” Then the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the black horse said, “Wow, a talking platypus!”

Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

I can't think of a joke!

what was the dying mans last words? im dying

A mexican goes to an ATM.

Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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