Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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penisface

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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William Raines.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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