A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Women's Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

25

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +23

lewis bedford

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is 69? A two digit number.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

W.N.B.A.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats better than shoes feet

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops