Knock Knock. Go away!

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Yo mama so fat she died

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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gay marriage.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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