-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

Womens rights

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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