"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

What's not red? No tomatoes.

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

You're so straight!

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

the chicken whent boomand then died

Two women were sitting in silence.

The WNBA

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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