Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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KEVIN HART

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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Black people

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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