i hate you.

What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

WNBA

Knock knock It's open, come in.

The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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