whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

whats young and never moved? still born baby

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

What color is my lamp? Brown

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

i heart wiener

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

Men's rights.

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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