Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Obama.

pubic lice.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

Women's rights.

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

two fish are in a tank.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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