Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Kittens.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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Dead babies.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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KEVIN HART

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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