What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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Golf.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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