What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Women Drivers.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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