What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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Golf.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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