A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Black people are clen.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A homeless person dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I love boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +17

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Mmmmmmm Lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I LIKE TURLES.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Don't rape me!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops