What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Black people

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

What break when you talk?

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

Women's Rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

Knock Knock Good one...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...