What do you call a female duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Please don't rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What time is it? 12:03 AM

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KIMBERLEY HONEY

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Canada

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

thumb_up thumb_down -2

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops