Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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marble

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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Canada's army

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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Water, please.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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