When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

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lololololololololol

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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Mexicans working in an office

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A van drives into a car.

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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