?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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25

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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penis

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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