Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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a

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Black people

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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This joke isnt funny.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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