Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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Military intelligence.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Penis.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops