If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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