A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A women walks out of a kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Sea World Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops