What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +55

two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops