Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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God.

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I love boobs

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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im black

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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A fat man buys a salad

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42

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Women's Rights

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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