"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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women's rights

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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