Knock knock Come in!

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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I don't get it

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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