whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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AVI IS A FAG

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Jewish People

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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