Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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Anti jokes.

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Dozer has a soul

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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