What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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Y2K

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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