What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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