A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

Josh kissing a girl

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

I am a real homosexual

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...