What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

Lets make like trees and stand still

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

Write your own

What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...