Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

25

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

I don't get it

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

Jewish People

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

One Big Ass Mistake America

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

Exactly what?

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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