Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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Black people

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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