How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

whats better than shoes feet

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

George W. Bush

Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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