Herman Cain

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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lol

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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penis that is all

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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womans rights

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Hello

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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