Santa Clogged my toliet

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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